life’s gonna get easier soon, i promise.
only cause I have you.
turiyadevotio asked: why do you think love exists.
Love exists because we exist. It’s part of human existence. It’s a part of us, whether we choose to believe or not, to love and be loved in return. It exists because we give meaning to it. Now, that doesn’t necessarily make the existence of love any less valid. But love is an intimate feeling that has many forms. To some, it’s the will to continue living and breathing. To others, it’s the force that leads to procreation. To many, it’s the innate drive to just feel something profound.
"Love exists because we exist."
You asked me what my dreams were. In a quiet coffee shop with wet floors, you looked at me with curious eyes a crooked smile, and asked me that simple yet complex question: “What are your dreams?” That made me nervous- I can’t lie. I’ve always felt it’s such a personal question, and people can take your sensitive answers and make what they want of them, but it isn’t that way in my eyes. I don’t know what “dreams” are anymore. Is a dream something we want to happen but we know never will? Is a dream something we believe will happen because we know we can strive for it?
There are a lot of moments I’ve played in my mind, that I want to happen. There are a lot of moments I can look forward to, run past in my mind, but move over them as if they are a stop sign I want to run through because I know they don’t really mean anything at the end of the day.
I gave you an answer I was sure you would make your own opinion of. I told you that there are only a few things in life I really hope for. And these are them: I want to have a family. I want to have a home- a real home, even though I don’t know what that feels like. And I want that home to be near the woods, so I can walk my husky through those woods with a hot coffee in my hands. And I know that answer sounds so small, but those are the things that make me happy. Small, average moments- those are where I’ve found happiness. Those are what have saved me my entire life, so they probably always will. The next day, I thought about that question again. I wondered to myself if there was an answer you would have preferred more than the one I gave you. Because in the broad term of “dreams,” I promise I have more. I should have told you the bigger dreams. When I was a little girl, I would dream of working as a writer for a magazine- a respectable magazine, not one that profits off of making young girls feel inadequate. I would picture myself wearing pin-striped dress pants and shiny black high heels, walking in and out of work with a slight smile, knowing that everything turned out okay. I would dream of my wedding day. I dreamed of feeling like the most beautiful girl in the world. I would pictured our first dance, where we would dance to “Let my Love Open the Door” and I would be smiling the entire time because I knew this would be the first of many dances I would share with my best friend. I would picture a home that would have expensive wood floors which would wear away quickly because I would be mopping them so often, due to my compulsive cleaning habits. I would dream of sleeping through the night without hearing someone cry. I dreamed of having a family who only knows pain in the most natural, innocent ways. I would create an image of blonde-haired babies I would kiss to sleep every night and wake up to every morning, where I would run through the yard with them, throwing around a Spiderman ball (because let’s face it, this blonde gene runs in my family like sand does through the fingers). My next dream would be one I could never say, due to it’s cliche nature. I dreamed of being happy. And I know what that sounds like. How can someone call being happy an actual dream? Everyone wants to be happy- it’s a natural hope. But when you ask me my dreams, what I want in life, that would be the most important one. Because becoming a writer may never happen. And having blonde babies may never happen. And that would all be okay, as long as I was happy. So when you asked me what my dreams were, and I told you they were to own a husky and have a home, I hope you understood there’s a lot more I dream of. You can’t blame me for being nervous, though. I was wearing an ugly sweater, and you were wearing the most pleasant smile I’ve ever seen.